Obviously, it's KG and Lance Bass's fault that I actually found this and typed it up. Sadly, it'll never fit where it was supposed to, so I'm throwing it out there to survive or die by itself.
ALSO, it's dead wrong for none of you damned people to be around the one time I'm half capable of writing WAP. I *will* finish this story. I WILL.
Izzy and Cassie ruin the entire Rocky Horror Picture Show, because the only reason Izzy hasn't done it better than Tim Curry is that no one could do it better than Tim Curry, but he's certainly, it appears, done it better than the guy on the stage. Cassie has only ever done Brad, and Rick suspects she doesn't actually remember the production all that well, but Cassie enjoys stirring up shit. And Izzy, Rick thinks, not with a small amount of vengeance, is only too willing to be stirred. For someone who chose to jump around and sing for a living, he really takes acting too seriously.
So they spend the entire show being pelted with popcorn by their crew, seated one and two rows behind them, and even though Rick is in no way part of the running commentary – he'd have thrown popcorn too, but Cassie's right by him and he's afraid – he somehow ends up with more popcorn in his hair than either one of them. Turning back at some point to bare his teeth at people, he realizes his seat is a clear sight's distance away from St. John's, and thinks he understands why.
"Would you shut *up*," Alex says, exasperated, as Izzy and Cassie bring up fond memories during the humping scene. "Nobody cares. There's Seventies porn going on."
"If that's your standard on Seventies porn, I'm –" Cassie says, but then a popcorn kernel finally finds its true path and hits her right on the nose; the front lines are getting tired too. "Hey!"
"You know, it's one thing when only the people you're paying are shooting at you," Rick says. "At least you can hope they won't wait for you outside. Shut up already."
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